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Sunday, January 18th, 2009
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| Time: | 1:07 am. |
| Mood: | Empty. | | Music: | Silence.. |
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So I've made it through probation! Yay. But it sucks when everyone else is already 21 and goes to the bar for fun... and i just go home cause i'm still not old enough. This blows. And my one fall back person is not there for me anymore. So mostly now i'm just bored and alone. At least I still have school to keep me going.
So far I passed my X-ray boards and am now working at Providence Hospital in Novi. Thats nice. Still going to school for Ultrasound. So I just focus on that. Yeah, I have a really boring life. It should all be worth it in the end though. ...Hopefully :D.
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So i dont know whats going on with me but then again i do... I'm a fucking mess. I'm not happy. haven't been for a while. i feel like the world is just fucking me over right now. i shouldnt have to feel like this cause honestly, i have a lot of accomplishments that i should be really proud of right now. But other things are taking the high away from it. to fill you in on how i got to this point...
End of April - MIP
May - Speeding Ticket
June - Court for both. Crunch time for school to finish up for graduation
July - Speeding Ticket Again!
FUCK!
So things are shitty. I barely have a life as it is now and now I have to put more stuff on the back burner because its not like i can go out to a party to see people i havent seen in a long time for the fear of violating probation. I'm sure other people are like, oh no big deal, its just an mip and its just 6 months probation... its not for me though... if i get this, it affects my job. the thing i've went to 2 years of school for and could screw my chances in the ultrasound program. currently i'm working extra hours and having no life just to pay tickets. dumb.
i wonder if its just stress or something thats making this way, but i've been crying a lot. i'm not a cryer. thank god no one has seen me during one of my crying acts... but they happen at the weirdest times. Ummm its like someone can just say the wrong thing and i could be just holding back the tears. Ummm in school, with my friends, with my boyfriend, and my family. i know i'm boring right now and i feel like i bring people down. i hate the word depressed, but it does almost sum it up. I really feel bad for D because we are just starting our relationship and its really hard to make someone else happy when your not even happy with yourself. i'm almost giving up on that too. i'm really not caring about much. i'm just going through the motions, doing what i have to do just to get through the day.
On a lighter note...
I want to try to get myself bad on my feet. So i really want to have a graduation party at my house probably the first weekend in september. I really hope i can have all my friends come so i can see people that i dont usually get to hang out with anymore. I would be a big bon fire summer blow out bash! Beer pong, karaoke, and more :D <--- havent seen a smile in a while. How does that sound? Grad party?
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Tuesday, November 13th, 2007
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Well I made it through summer, but now to make it through winter is going to be rough. I'm pretty sure one of our classmates dropped the program leaving only 11 of us now. I couldnt even think about dropping out of a two year program after completing a full year!
Last friday I got my palm and tarot cards read, and it was very interesting! She got a lot of things spot on about my life and personality with only knowing my name. She even told me about my grandpa (whom past away) that he has been watching over me and that am strongly connected to him. She said times are going to be rough in the bringing of 08 and that change is going to come and I just have to accept it. Not sure if that means bad or good. I'm usually okay with changes though.
Around July my boyfriend and I are suppose to have a rough point also. I'm thinking that if we make it to July then even if something did happen we have had a damn good long relationship. My longest relationship has only been 9 months no matter the outcome I would feel good that I know I can handle a long relationship again. When the lady first brought up my love life, she started talking to me like I was single. This definitely surprised me because I'm currently in a loving relationship with Paul. She told me that one of my dark haired male friends has stronger feelings for me than I know of. I view him just as a friend she says. I have no clue who she could even be talking about. Honestly.
Oh, and I'm suppose to be traveling to the ocean soon with some of my girlfriends and having a good time sometime when the weather gets warmer. I'm definitely excited to hear that because lately I feel like I have lost touch with my friends. I really feel that I'm not close to a single person anymore. Maddy and Danielle are my only two bbfs and we dont even talk that much. I think i need to make more of an effort cause I know thats its mostly my fault that I lost touch. With school work and paul, its easy for me to just do my own thing and worry about catching up later. I know its selfish but I need to get my life on take first before I can party hard.
The readings also said that I'm torn between leading a responsible life by going to school and getting a job and envying the life of that my wild friends have. She told me not to drop out of school though because everything will pan out in the end. I sure hope so!
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| Time: | 6:47 pm. |
| Mood: |  frustrated. | | Music: | Dont Tell And We Wont Ask - Thrice. |
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Can't believe sometimes what I get myself mixed up in. My heart hurts thinking about the hard times to come. I waited during rehad, waited out jail time, and now i'm waiting out his house arrest.
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So I'm not sure if you know... But I have a boyfriend, again. Not Chad.
Moving too fast? I ask myself that too. But I've never been more comfortable in my life. Just when I thought my heart could never be mended, could it be?? It's ridiculous. And I like it.
Memorial Day weekend I'm going with Paul (bf) and his family up north to there little vacation get away spot. I'm so excited! We're going to play piant-ball, drink beer, sit around a camp fire, drink more beer, ect. I need to get away! I love that his family likes me. And I'm pretty sure my parents like him. My dad even gave him an application for this program he wants to get into. :D I'm like... what the hell is going on??? Ahh I donno. I'm just totally happy. Happier than I could ever be. With all this school and work, he's the only thing that keeps me grounded.
Jewlie's back in town this weekend for a little bit. I think I'm going to go hang out with her tonight. Hang out with the JXC ha. Mr. Core, I dont get to see him often, so it's always a pleasure. Jewlie will hopefully get to meet Paul today too. Yay!
i'm just glad to be happy.
P.S. Everyone say a little prayer for my lover. :/
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| Time: | 4:22 pm. |
| Mood: |  disappointed. | | Music: | FOB. |
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I'm pissed. Ahhhhaha. Yesterday... what a fucking wreck. I'm so disappointed.
"Story Never Changes, Just the Names and Faces"
fuck.
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Thursday, April 12th, 2007
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| Time: | 8:06 am. |
| Mood: |  amused. | | Music: | Thrice from Paul.. |
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So how crazy is it to be dreaming about a certain person and then be woken out of the dream to there call??? I didn't even know what to think. Lately things have been alright. This week is the last week of our break time and then I go back to a full schedule. I'm not going to be able to see anyone but on weekends but you know I'll make the best of it!
So I am single now. I liked Chad, and he was an amazing boyfriend it's just I was not going to fall in love so it was best to call it quits. I haven't got to talk to him much lately and I really hope we can hang out and be friends again like old times. But I guess for now it's best if we are apart.
In the question of relationships... I really don't think I should get into another relationship for a while. I mean even if I like someone a lot, it's probably going to turn out the same way as always. Whenever I go to hang out with a new guy my mom and sister always say, "Did you tell him not to fall for you, your going to break his heart!" ha. Rhh. I suck. I want to be somebody's somebody. Probably wont be happening...
Now back to more x-rays, I'm in the ER, hope I see something fun today :D
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Tuesday, April 10th, 2007
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Back to school again. Spring Break was fun. Partied everywhere and met some sweet new people. Some nights I got to dumb to function but I guess that's what I call a good time. Anyways. Boy oh boy. What a cutie he is. Sucks that School's all year round. So I should just say goodbye to my social life now...
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Thursday, March 15th, 2007
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1. Where did your last kiss take place?
Outside in the trickling rain behind uno's with a boy named chad
2. Who knows a secret or two about you?
Amy Carrasassssss
3. Three words to explain why you last threw up?
Maddy's bad influence.
4. Did you ever burn yourself?
hmm not intensionally.
5. What's crazy to you?
my life... not.
6. Favorite cuss word:
..fuck.
7. Who is probably talking a load of crap about you right now?
jewlie
9. Would you ever want to be a model?
I would love to try it.
10. Who is the most experimental person you know?
Maddy.
11. Do you tell white lies?
yup
12. When is your next party?
Saturday. Patty's Day
14. Is it better to give or get?
Get
15. How do you handle a break up?
Move on.
16. Your motivation for tomorrow?
teh...
17. Last person to hurt you?
I'm not sure...
18. Last person to make you laugh?
Amy.
19. Last thing you ate?
Chips
20. Do you ever go a few days without changing your underwear?
no
21. Have you ever accidentally eaten an insect?
You do when you sleep duh.
22. Do daddy long legs freak you out?
eh. not really
23. Have you ever cleaned up someone else's vomit?
yes
24. Have you ever dropped food on the floor and eaten it?
10 second rule. with exception.
25. Do you kiss your pets on the mouth?
Yes.
27. What serial killer do you find most disturbing?
...ed gein says amy c.
28. Do you ever talk to the TV?
No but my mom does
29. Would you ever work in a retirement home?
I couldnt.
30. Do you believe plants have feelings?
fuck no.
31. Do you laugh at people with "bowl" haircuts?
ha.
32. Do you have nervous twitches?
no
33. Are you ever purposely irritating?
sometimes
34. If you could fly, where would you go first?
Everywhere
35. Do you have weak knees?
ankles
44. What was the last thing you ordered at McDonald's?
Breakfast burritos
45. Are you an emotional person?
Alone.
46. Do you like your name?
Its good enough
50. Do you dance naked in your room at night?
I do. Not completely naked just when changing.
51. When did your last relationship end?
... in one now.
52. What are you listening to right now?
bad music on the radio
53. Biggest fear?
pitch black and open water
55. How long have you been a part of myspace?
3 years.
56. Favorite place to be?
in my bed sleeping.
57. What are you wearing right now?
scrubs
58. Do you hate anybody?
not really
59. Does anyone hate you?
probably
60. How many people do you trust fully?
one
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Wednesday, March 7th, 2007
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| Time: | 7:19 pm. |
| Mood: | discontent. | | Music: | Beautiful - Xtina.. |
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| ***100 Nosey Questions*** by longtallsally28 | | The Basics | | Name: | Amy | | Age: | 18 | | Month of birth: | August | | Any Siblings?: | One Sister | | Parents still married?: | Yes | | Occupation: | Student X-ray Tech | | Do you like your job?: | Yes and No | | Any pets?: | Two Jack Russel Terriors | | Hair color: | Dark Brown currently | | Eye color: | Blue | | Shoe size: | 7 1/2 | | Any Tattoos?: | One | | Any Piercings?: | 8 | | Current mood: | blah | | Current wardobe choice: | Scrubs (I'm at work) | | What are you listening to?: | The humming of the computer | | Who did you last speak with on the phone?: | Chadwick... yesterday | | What do you currently smell like?: | Hospital | | Last.... | | Movie you watched: | Silence or somthing like that on HBO | | Magazine you looked at: | Cosmoplotin | | Thing you ate: | Frozen dinner | | Book you read: | Physics Rad. Text book | | T.v. show you watched: | American Idol | | Time you cried: | Two weeks ago | | Took a shower: | Last night | | Got a real letter (a.k.a Snail Mail): | Friday | | Ate at a restaurant (not fast food): | My cousin's Grad Celebration | | CD you bought: | Fall Out Boy | | What is/was.... | | The best thing to happen to you today?: | Mac&Cheese sadly | | Your most prized possession: | My new car | | Your first vehicle: | White Dodge Neon 96 | | Your current vehicle: | Black Sebring Convertable 04 | | Your favorite quote: | "Like Oh My God" | | You bedtime (on average): | 10:00 school nights, 4:30am weekends | | Your best trait/characteristic: | Thoughtful | | Your worst trait/characteristic: | thinking to much | | Do You.... | | Store things under your bed: | No | | Daydream: | Way too much | | Have a computer at home: | On G.I Yes, at Grandmas, no | | Live in the city, suburbs or country: | Two places. | | Live in a home, apartment, duples or mobile home: | G.I House & Canton Condo | | Own a cell phone: | Duh | | Have a good luck charm: | Nah. | | Collect anything: | Used but don't really collect anything now | | Attend high school or college: | 2 year X-ray tech program at Providence Hospital | | Make good grades: | I like them. | | Have You Ever.... | | Had a surgery?: | Yup. | | Had teeth pulled?: | Yup. | | Broke the law intentionally: | Everyone has. Dont Deny. | | Ran away from home?: | yeah. | | Broke a bone?: | Fractured. | | Cheated on a test/exam: | Once or twice. | | Had a friend pass away: | no. *knock on wood* | | Been issued a citation/traffic ticket: | Not that had a fine to pay. | | Been in an auto accident: | no... *KNOCK ON WOOD* | | Lied to someone: | White lies are what i call them. | | Been lied to: | Plenty of times | | Your Favorite.... | | Place to be: | In comforting arms | | Place to visit: | Makinaic Island | | Place to chill: | Chads house | | Non-Alcoholic drink: | Water | | Alcoholic drink: | Bud-light | | Type of food: | Mac&Cheese | | Meal/Food dish: | Ravioli De Portobello | | Dessert: | Turimisu | | Shampoo & Conditioner: | N/A | | Toothpaste: | Crest with Scope | | Salad dressing: | Italian | | Ice cream: | Choc. Chip Cookie Dough | | Fast food establishment: | Taco Hut. | | Color: | Turquise | | Season: | n/a | | Holiday: | halloween | | Perfume/Cologne: | 8 | | Video Game: | Mario Party for 64 | | T.V. show: | Greys | | Smells: | Gasoline | | Article of clothing: | Top. | | Book: | n/a | | Children's Book: | Mouse & the Motorcycle | | Candy: | Snickers | | Car: | My own :D | | Do You Believe.... | | In Karma: | No. | | In God: | Yes. | | In Heaven & Hell: | Yes. | | That aliens exist (extraterrestrial variety, not illegal aliens): | I hope so. | | That ghosts exist: | Kind of. | | In horoscopes: | Not Really | | In others you know (family, friends, co-workers etc): | Most of them. | | In yourself: | Yes. | | Your Opinion.... | | On the death penalty: | Let them suffer in Jail. | | On reciting the Pledge of Allegiance in schools: | We are in America right? | | On homosexuals in the military: | I didn't know that was a problem... | | The war in the Middle East: | Come Home Already. | | Schwarzeneggar...Governor or Terminator: | He's man enough for two. | | Current gas/fuel prices: | I don't really look at them but I know they're up there. | Take this survey | Find surveys
Pimp My Profile |
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I haven't been on here for a long time.
I swear I forgot that it existed.
Oh well.
Not shit going on too exciting in my life.
Boys are gay.
Me and Maddy are lovers.
And thats all I need.
We're going to party tonight.
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Friday, February 3rd, 2006
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Tuesday, October 11th, 2005
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| Time: | 9:33 pm. |
| Mood: | amused. | | Music: | Posion the Well. |
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BEEF IS BETTER. Save little chicken. You will be seeing him through out the month of October. Big yellow chicken... can't miss him.
Yeah, boringness.
Tomorrow I'm going w/ Tina, her bf, Nick, and Tommer to the Funeral for a Friend show. It should be fun.
Call me sometime. Comment sometime. Text me sometime. Lets hook up. Yes.
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Monday, September 5th, 2005
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| Time: | 12:40 am. |
| Mood: | chipper. | | Music: | QYL. |
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Take the quiz: "Which Laguna Beach Character are You?"
LC
You are LC, very fashionable, rich, and GORGEOUS. You are bitchy but in a silent way. Who cares though with looks like that!?
Danielle says I look a little like her... but i dont really think so. But I truthfully took that quiz and thats who I matched up with. The "bithchy but in a silent way" is definitely true because I'm way too nice and let people walk all over me instead of bitching at them for it. Hmm and to think I didnt even like her to start off with. Weird.
P.S.
Can you tell I was bored.
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Monday, August 29th, 2005
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| Time: | 11:28 pm. |
| Mood: | calm. | | Music: | ETID. |
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So once again, nothing interesting at alllllllllllllll.
Wishing on the clock.
Crossing those fingers.
123 Keep it up 123
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Friday, August 12th, 2005
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| Time: | 9:39 pm. |
| Mood: |  blah. | | Music: | Every Time I Die. |
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Birthday What?!
Come get Crunk w/ us :D
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1. Reply with your name and I will write something I like about you.
2. I will then tell what song reminds me of you.
3. If I were to apply an o'clock to you, I'll tell you what it would be.
4. I will try to name a single word that best describes you.
5. I'll tell you the most memorable moment I've had with you.
6. I will tell you what color you remind me of.
7. I'll then tell you something that I've always wondered about you.
8. Put this in your journal.
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| Time: | 9:59 pm. |
| Mood: | amused. | | Music: | Mean Girl Soundtrack. |
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Wow, HOSA states turned out to be a lot more fun than I thought it would be! I sooo can't wait for next year! No I didnt place, but thats ok cause I didnt even study. yup. But it was sweet!
( HOSA States Baby! )
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Wednesday, April 20th, 2005
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| Time: | 1:49 pm. |
| Mood: |  bitchy. | | Music: | Moulin Rouge Soundtrack. |
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Not like you care but...
I'll be gone until Saturday. Leaving today at 3 home at 3 on Saturday for HOSA States Competition in Travers City.
Please call me! 558-8121
<3 Amy
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Sunday, February 27th, 2005
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I stole from Trish...
( I know you don't care... hehe )
Yesterday Jewlie came over and we had a field day taking pictures with my digital camera and then I have this computer program that I can crop and change the colors and yeah. We went crazy w/ it. A lot of pictures turned out sooo sweet. I'll post some. I guess. If i get them finished... But here's a look at some...
( You know you hate! )
Yeah!
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fiendangelicalz's journal
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indescribable.
full.
nervous.
hot.